claiming the victim title (and being OK with it)

victim information sheet

Wiltshire police witness and victim information sheet

For the past ten months or so I have found myself to have a bit of a stalker, harassment its been called by the police.  A guy who joined a pagan group I co-run and whilst having some obvious issues he seemed harmless.

Being a nice person you try and help. He had no money so you buy him a drink when you are at a moot, you make sure he can get home. You know normal stuff that nice people do. Soon it started to go downhill. His issues that appeared minor to start with became bigger and bigger until I had to step in with my co organiser and tell him as nicely as we could that his issues where getting out of hand, He had show up at the meeting smelling to the point several of us near him where gagging. He carried around 3 or 4 bin bags filled with smelly rubbish. He appeared manic but firmly stated he was fine. Basic social etiquette had gone out of the window for him and he displayed a lot of very inappropriate behaviour. We wrote him a letter, thinking this would be the kindest way to explain things to him. We listed things factually, offered him support and suggested charities that would be able to help him with certain issues. Explained that he would be able to get support from his GP and what he could ask for. Told him we would be there to help if he needed it.

The police asked me why? why did I bother? Because. Its what people should do! We should attempt to help each other! we should try and support each other. If ever I am down in the dumps and struggle to make ends meet so much that I am fishing food out of a bin like he is, I would hope someone would offer a hand to help. I never expected it to backfire. I never expected for things to go from annoying to creepy.

My file is with a sergeant now. Up for review. To see if its worth it in the public interest to take this to court. Yep. Even though My kids and I are suffering because of this it has to be in the public interest to prosecute.

This file starts with stating my name followed by “I am the victim”. That was a hard pill to swallow. I have been a victim and overcome that. I didn’t want to be a victim. I had equated victim with weakness somehow. Worked so hard at overcoming my victim-ness and people telling me how strong I must be to have overcome so much that victim had become equal to weak.

How stupid was that. Us victims are some of the strongest people on this earth. We aren’t weak but rather we are in the midst of the hurricane that is attempting to tear apart our life. And even as it is tearing and pulling and wrecking we are going around with a roll of duct tape patching the pieces back together. Working hard to keep as much of our life together so that once that hurricane has finished we can start to unwrap the duct tape and put everything back together as it should be.

I am Vera and I am a victim.

To be continued…..